Fear: The Meaning Of Shinobi
by nonamemanga
Summary: Songfic, Animal I have become by 3 Days Grace. Naruto is missing from training and Team 7 finally decide to look for him. Dark!naruto, Anbu!naruto


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Nor do I normally feel this angst.

* * *

It was tiresome. Just living. I didn't have a family, not one to remember. I have my mother's memories, of loss and murder. I have seen the life she lived, but I can't see the life I am living. The only one that wants me to live is Kyubi, so he can live. Iruka sees a similarity between us, but not a bond. Kakashi sees his sensei and his killer, not a child. Jiraiya sees my father, not me. Danzou sees a weapon, a power that is to be used.

What I see. I see to many things to name. I can remember more lifetimes than I can count, but I still can't tell you what I see. In a physical form, a lonely child, mistreated hero, a powerful energy, and a shattered mirror. But I can't say I am seeing me. What I see, what I am, what I become. I don't choose. Someone else does. I am the fear, a mirror that shows your darkest side. But does anyone see that?

No, they can't look beyond the mask. My mask. All I am to people is what they want to see.

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura were waiting at the training grounds for Naruto and their sensei to arrive. Neither were very surprised that Naruto hadn't shown up yet. He would usually come later than the original planned time. Kakashi was never on time, so why couldn't Naruto be a little late? Kakashi then arrived, late like usual but before Naruto strangely. But still, no one really noticed. Sakura shouted at her Sensei and Sasuke was 'hn'ing like normal. Yep, everything seemed normal. But Kakashi seemed to notice something. What was wrong with this picture?

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

Naruto sat in the dark corner of his bathroom. It had happened again that night. He hadn't slept at all. The blonde was panting loudly, but no one heard. No one had seen what had happened. No one would know. Naruto began to calculate the time. It was about 11:00 am, so his team must be practicing by now. No one had come, so no one would arrive for the rest of the day. Hunger began to overwhelm him. Instantly, he found himself in the darkness once more.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal_

Naruto looked around. He was in a room of mirrors. But none reflected him. He wasn't there. Looking in each mirror, he saw someone else. A blond a blond child crying himself to sleep. Another with a crazy boy in an orange jumpsuit. He looked into all the mirrors until he came to the ninth. What he saw was him. Not his mask, not what he was or to be, but him. It was an ANBU. Two katana strapped to his back and his hair messy and grown out. His clothes black but blood stained. The lack of innocence and warmth, just a cold broken heart. His mask was of a fox, a murderously danger, grinning Kitsune.

_I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
_

Kakashi didn't like the situation. Naruto still hadn't shown up to practice so he sent Sasuke and Sakura looking for Naruto. But he was no where to be found. The last place to look was his apartment. It was in a run down neighborhood, one where the Uzu kids lived after there parents had immigrated from the fallen whirlpool village. Sasuke and Sakura followed the silvered haired jounin, At one point they came to the door of an apartment covered in graffiti. "Demon Child" gave it away to which the apartment had belonged to. Kakashi tried to open the door but was stopped by a seal. Finally, he forced his way in. Team seven looked around the apartment but couldn't Naruto anywhere. The smell of death was everywhere and very strong. Sasuke walked over the bathroom since that was were the smell seemed to be coming from. What he saw scared team seven to death and insanity.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

Sasuke found Naruto was slumped in the tub. His bangs covered his eyes so it was hard to know if he was conscious. The boy was breathing heavily but was not reacting to the company. His mouth was covered in blood. The blonde's canines were sharper than usual and his nails were like claws. Sasuke noticed a dead hare on the floor. Sakura was ready to scream but Kakashi cover her mouth and was telling her to calm down. Naruto was never this scary. Sasuke was seeing flashes of what had happened at the massacre. It seemed like now he was reliving it.

_Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

Naruto was staring at the mirror. His reflection was everything he was, his mask, himself. Everything. Naruto raised his hand to touch the mirror but stop. His reflection reached towards its own face and held the Kitsune mask. The reflection slowly took off the mask and stared with red, slit eyes at him. The reflection reached its hand out of the glass and took a tight grip around the boy's neck. Naruto grabbed the reflection's arm and tried to pry it off. He couldn't breathe. Everything was becoming spots and melted into a pure white. Suddenly, Naruto was awake and was staring up at the hospital ceiling.

_Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell_

Kakashi watched Naruto sit up on the hospital bed. Sasuke and Sakura were outside waiting to be allowed in. The blond was now staring at the Jounin with pure confusion. Kakashi stood up from his seat and walked over to his student. He solely asked, "What happened?". Naruto was still staring at him, but not in the same aura. No, now he had anger, fear, a murderess aura stirred in with humor, a mix of emotions with a bad result. The silvered haired jounin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. The jinchuriki replied, "First get Uchiha and Haruno in here. They should hear what I've got to say"

_This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal_

Sasuke and Sakura came rushing in. Sakura as shouting what the heck was Naruto doing, being such an idiot and scaring them like that. Sasuke was talking at the same time asking why was Naruto covered in blood and why was there a dead animal there. Kakashi watched his team bicker for a moment and turned his attention back to Naruto. The boy looked empty, like his teammates liveliness had stolen his energy. "What do you see?" the blond asked staring at all of them. The room became quieter once the gennin spoke. The boy's charkra, once a warm wind, was now an empty void, like your flouting under water. his teamates began talking again asking what kind of question was that.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become_

Naruto chuckled. It wasn't a nice, simple chuckle. It was dark almost disappointing. Kakashi's eyes widened when Naruto's chakra changed again, it wasn't a warm breeze, nor an empty void, it was a hurricane of hot chakra. The room was no longer still, Sakura and Sasuke felt as if they were being pulled into a tornado and Kakashi felt as if he was reliving a tiny version of the Kyubi attacks. Fear was in menace in team Seven and Naruto was enjoying it. Naruto looked at his team again with a dead, fake smile. "What do you see now?" His Eyes were red and slit like before. his finger nails sharp like before. The aura in the room was menacing, Sasuke felt like his skin was being melted off. Sakura whispered with wide eyes, "Bakemono"

_  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

He'd proven his point, what he was. He didn't give a damn what they thought. He didn't want to live as a monster, nor as a child. He had no innocence, not even the memory of it. Sakura and Sasuke were standing on the own again. Both were shocked at what their just did. The jinchuriki stole a kunai from the jounin and slit his wrist. He held up his arm for display.

"Every single one of drop of my blood is a victim I have killed. Being a shinobi isn't community service. If you cannot see through the lies that blind us, then you should just sit down think about what it means to be a killer."

_Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become_


End file.
